The Lingerie She Left Behind

My daughter held up the sexy lace lingerie my husband's secretary had deliberately left in our house, looking at me with pure innocence. "Mommy, what is this?" My mind went completely blank, shame and fury crashing over me in waves. I never imagined they would be this brazen. Eight years of marriage, and Julian’s love for me had long since rotted away. Time and time again, he brought other women home, testing my boundaries, and I turned a blind eye to all of it. Except this time, he crossed the line. For the sake of my daughter, I made up my mind to demand a divorce. "Mommy, what is this?" My daughter, Lily, stood in front of me holding a skimpy black lace slip, her big eyes full of innocence. The moment I saw what was in her hands, my head buzzed, and my breath caught in my throat. It was sexy lingerie. Julian and I hadn't slept in the same bed in over a year. Where could a brand-new piece of lingerie have come from? The answer was all too obvious. My hands trembled as I snatched the lace slip from her grip, an overwhelming wave of humiliation and rage flooding my chest. I despised Julian for cheating on me, but what made me hate him even more was that he actually let those women drag my daughter into their sick games! I crouched down, struggling to find the words, trying my hardest to keep my voice steady. "Lily, that's just some of Mommy's clothes. Can you go play in your room for a bit?" Obediently clutching her teddy bear, she trotted back to her bedroom. Holding the lingerie, the scene from two days ago flashed across my mind. Julian had walked through the front door with his arm around his new secretary. She was young, barely in her early twenties—the exact age I was when I first met Julian. Her face was glowing with youthful radiance, a painful contrast to my hollow, sallow skin. My heart had gone completely numb from years of his betrayals. Seeing him bring a new girl home barely even stung anymore. Seeing me sitting silently on the couch, Julian frowned in annoyance. "Clara, do you have to sit there looking like a piece of dead wood? You..." My eyes were heavy with exhaustion. Hearing his words, my fingers tightened around the envelope holding my CT scan results. Then, a faint, mocking smile touched my lips as I looked at the girl beside him. "What? Is my just sitting here getting in your way now?" Melanie bit her lip, shooting me a thinly veiled, provocative glance. "Clara, please don't be mad. There's nothing going on between Julian and me. We just had some urgent company business to handle at home. Since you don't work, you probably don't know the kind of pressure he's under to provide for the family. Try to understand, okay?" Handling business all the way into our master bedroom? A bitter scoff escaped me. My gaze drifted to the man who had been by my side since I was twenty. His face was cold and distant, showing no intention of defending me. The last flicker of light in my eyes died completely. Whatever. What was I still hoping for? After all these years, I should have been used to it. "Oh, of course I understand. After all, you're the eighth secretary he's brought home to 'handle business' with." Melanie's face instantly drained of color. She looked at Julian, flustered. Julian's expression darkened, furious. Watching the two of them choke on their own medicine, I let out a dry laugh. But as I laughed, a scratchy itch rose in my throat, sending me into a fit of coughing. Julian rolled his eyes, grabbed Melanie by the wrist, and slammed the bedroom door shut behind them. "Just ignore the invalid. She's exhausting." The moment the door slammed, tears streamed down my cheeks. The suffocating weight in my chest made it nearly impossible to breathe. I wasn't actually that strong. Julian's coldness over the years had simply forced me to learn how to weaponize my words just to protect myself.A loud slam of the front door snapped me back to reality. I looked down, took off my pajamas, and slipped into the black lace lingerie. Years of illness had worn me down to skin and bones. The fabric hung loose on me, leaving wide, empty gaps. When Julian walked into the bedroom and saw me lying on the bed in that slip, he froze. Pale and drained, I forced a smirk and looked at him. "Well? Do I look good?" Julian seemed to realize who the lingerie belonged to, his expression turning strange. "What the hell are you doing?" I lowered my gaze. The gnawing ache in my body made me pinch the back of my hand, leaving a sharp red mark against my ghostly pale skin. "I was just thinking... since my husband likes this sort of thing, why can't I change for him just this once?" Julian stiffened. When he looked back at me, a hint of unexpected eagerness flashed in his eyes. "Clara... you're... willing?" Before I could say another word, he stripped off his jacket and leaned down to kiss me. Yet I clearly caught the flicker of disgust in his eyes when he saw my emaciated, curve-less frame. I smiled—and slapped him hard across the face. My voice turned ice-cold. "Julian, you really are a shameless piece of trash." Stunned by the slap, he realized I was just playing him. Pure rage flared, and he shoved me violently off the bed. "Get the fuck out! Are you crazy, Clara? Trying to humiliate yourself in Melanie's clothes? Look at you—you look like a walking corpse. You think you're worthy?" I hit the cold floor, sharp pain radiating through every nerve in my body, both physical and emotional. It hurt so much. But no matter how bad it got, I refused to show an ounce of weakness in front of Julian. "Julian, I want to know why the hell you let another woman leave her sexy lingerie in our daughter's bedroom!" A flicker of panic crossed his face. It took him a while to stammer out a defense. "Melanie probably just left it by accident... If you found it, just throw it away! Why do you have to throw such a damn tantrum?" I lowered my head. Tears fell one by one, scalding the back of my hand. A wave of profound grief for our years of marriage crashed over me. How did the man who once held me while I was pregnant, who treated me like his most precious treasure and couldn't wait for our child to be born, turn into this monster? We hadn't even had any major blowouts. We had just drifted apart, almost by unspoken agreement. I had spent years analyzing it, and the only conclusion I could come to was simple: He just didn't love me anymore. Even if his love faded, I never imagined he could become so utterly indifferent to our daughter. If I really died one day, how could I ever leave Lily in his hands? I lifted my head, eyes wet with tears. "Julian, I put up with every single woman you brought home in the past. But this Melanie? Never." Julian let out a cold, mocking laugh. "Clara, you're thirty-four, and now you're competing with a girl in her twenties? It's just a piece of clothing! Why are you blowing this out of proportion?" "You don't want me with Melanie? Let me tell you, she happens to be my absolute favorite." With an irritated scowl, he grabbed his suit jacket and stormed out of the house.Julian was thirty-five, yet he acted like a rebellious teenager. The more I told him to stay away from Melanie, the more he flaunted her. He even started posting flirtatious photos on Ins every day just to get under my skin. I saw his latest post while walking down the hospital hallway for my check-up. Caption: "Love is only given to those who deserve it." In the photo, he held Melanie in his arms, both bundled up in heavy ski gear. Melanie gave a sweet, triumphant smile, flashing a peace sign at the camera, while Julian looked at her with pure adoration. Staring at that picture, my emotions shattered. My entire body began to tremble. Fat tears splashed onto my phone screen. My grip gave out, and my test results slipped from my fingers and fluttered to the floor. Julian took her skiing? Back when we were happiest... I grew up in the South and had always dreamed of skiing. On my birthday, he took me to a ski resort. But during our run, my ski snapped, and I was thrown violently down the slope. I braced for broken bones, but Julian jumped after me, using his own body as a human cushion. He broke my fall and was knocked unconscious. That was the exact moment I decided he was the one. Ever since that accident, Julian had developed severe trauma regarding skiing. In the ten years we were together, we never set foot on a ski slope again. And now... he had conquered his lifelong trauma for Melanie. A suffocating bitterness tightened around my chest. Did he love Melanie that much? So much that he didn't care about his own safety, so much that he could overcome a decade of deep psychological fear? My throat constricted, and tears spilled over again. I traced my finger over my own beaming smile in old memories. Ten years had blurred the edges of the past, but it couldn't erase how fiercely in love we had once been. I screenshot his Ins post and sent it to him. "Why?" I thought he might offer an excuse. Instead, my phone buzzed with an incoming FaceTime call. When I answered, Melanie's bright, smug smile filled the screen. "Hi, Clara! I know Julian had trauma about skiing, but he told me he was willing to overcome it for me. Don't worry, I'll take good care of him. I won't let him get hurt like you did." Julian was standing right behind her, looking at her with helpless indulgence. "Julian, I'm at the hospital," I said quietly, trying to remind him of my reality. He took the phone, frowning with irritation. "The hospital again? Clara, why are you so fragile these days? Running to the hospital over every little thing! Why can't you be more like Melanie? Exercise keeps you healthy and energetic. I'm sick of seeing you mope around like a dying invalid." "By the way, wash your hands when you get home. Don't pass whatever you have to Lily. I'm hanging up." I opened my mouth, but my lips trembled so violently that no sound came out. The last thread holding my heart together snapped completely. Listening to the dial tone, tears slipped down my face. He had no idea what condition my body was actually in. I slid down against the hospital wall, my heart turning to ice. I knew then that my marriage to Julian was truly over. Looking down at the test results on the floor, exhaustion and powerlessness consumed me. For ten years, I helped him build his business from scratch, attending endless client dinners and drinking for him. No matter how much pressure I was under, I bore it all alone, refusing to worry him. And what did sacrificing my youth and health get me? Julian calling me "fragile."If I could have, I would have loved to skip those booze-soaked dinners and work out instead. But I didn't dare stop. If I stopped, Julian's startup would have failed. Yet once his business took off, he began to despise me for being unromantic and dull. He started running after other women just to provoke me into begging for his attention. Why should I ever beg? Through years of this silent warfare, I developed a malignant tumor. At first, I didn't take it seriously, just swallowing painkillers by the handful. It wasn't until I collapsed and was rushed to the emergency room that I found out: it was cancer. It had been three months now. My health was deteriorating rapidly, and I didn't know how much time I had left. My only regret, my only fear, was my daughter... If Julian could find a woman who genuinely loved Lily, I could die in peace. But Melanie? Absolutely not! I couldn't count on Julian anymore. I had to drag my broken body forward to protect Lily until my very last breath! Even if I only had one day left to live, I was getting a divorce. I had to find someone safe to entrust Lily to. I pushed myself off the floor, left the hospital, and went straight to a lawyer to draw up divorce papers. Then, I texted Julian: "Come home tonight. You must." Surprisingly, he agreed right away, his promptness catching me off guard. When I got home, the house was pitch-black, save for a few glowing candles in the center of the living room. Julian walked out of the kitchen, softly humming "Happy Birthday." "Clara, I'm sorry about the past few days. It's your birthday today. I bought you a cake to surprise you. How do you like it?" In the dark, the candlelight made his eyes shine bright. But inside my heart, there was only darkness. So today was my birthday... Three years ago, on this exact day, he had boldly brought another woman home. Ever since that night, I stopped celebrating birthdays. The sounds coming from our bedroom that night had brought me so much despair and agony, tearing my soul to shreds. I would never forget that pain as long as I lived. I looked down at the cake, finding it sickeningly ironic. "Clear it away," I said quietly. "I haven't celebrated my birthday in years." Annoyed that I had ruined his romantic gesture, Julian scowled. "What's wrong with you now? Can't we just have one peaceful birthday together?" I said nothing. I reached out and flipped the living room switch. The harsh light instantly exposed the impatience written all over his face. Without an ounce of emotion, I handed him the divorce agreement. "Let's get a divorce." Julian froze. Then, in a fit of rage, he grabbed my wrist and shoved me onto the couch. "Clara, do you know what time it is? Do you really have to throw a fit today? Over an Ins post? Let me warn you, every time you threaten me with divorce, you push me closer to being completely done with you!" He thought his words would scare me, a smug look in his eyes. I only looked at him with a deathly pale face, coldly pulling my hand away. "I'm exhausted. Let's divorce. I'll leave with nothing." His eyes widened in shock. We locked eyes in silence for a long moment before he let out a harsh, chilling sneer. "Fine! You want to throw a tantrum? I'll show you what happens when you push me!" He snatched the papers and scrawled his signature across the page, slamming them down in front of me. His aggressive motion knocked my hospital papers out of my bag, scattering them onto the floor. The air froze. "What is this?" Lowering my eyes, my heart completely numb, I bent down and picked up the paper. "A diagnosis. Breast cancer."